Feederism FAQ

What's a feedee?

Feedees are men or women who like the idea or physical act of growing bigger, fatter and/or rounder. It's a sexual orientation, sorta like being straight or bi. Feedees come in all shapes and sizes and their fantasies, goals and ideal partners vary all the way from just a little pudge to supersize territory. We're a diverse bunch. There is no one way to be a feedee. Some members on this site have put on or are putting on serious amounts of weight. Some are still considering doing so, or waiting for a better time in their lives. Some may never actually gain themselves, but find satisfaction in padding, bloating or inflating. Feedee is typically a label used in the straight community—in the gay community feedees are typically called gainers. There's no wrong way to be a feedee, so just follow your heart… er… stomach.

What's a feeder?

Feeders are men or women who like the idea or physical act of helping someone else grow bigger. Feeders may be any size—fat or thin—and some feeders also identify as feedees. Feeders exists along a wide spectrum, from people who just want to cook for someone and provide moral support, to those who enjoy "forcing" a feedee to eat copious amounts (this is always a consensual act). Feeder is typically a label used in the straight community—in the gay community, feeders are typically called encouragers. Again, there's no wrong way to be a feeder, so keep an open mind.

What's a fat admirer?

Fat admirers, or FAs, are men or women who are sexually and romantically attracted to partners who are chubby. Fat admirers are a diverse bunch—some prefer extremely large partners (such as SSBBW or SSBHM) while others may prefer partners with only a few extra pounds. Fat admirers can be any size themselves, from skinny to supersized. Some fat admirers also have feeder tendencies, but many fat admirers do not and simply prefer a chubby partner.

What’s a BBW/SSBBW?

BBW stands for big beautiful woman, and is an identifier for women who are overweight—anything from a little curvy, to plump to chubby to obese. SSBBW stands for super-sized big beautiful woman, and signifies a BBW who is significantly obese. Women who are BBW/SSBBW can also be feedees, but many are not and are simply overweight by circumstance or genetics. Many BBW/SSBBW are interested in relationships with a male fat admirer—though some are also open to relationships with male feeders.

What's a BHM/SSBHM?

BHM stands for big handsome man, and is an identifier for straight or bisexual men who are overweight (in the gay community, such men are known as “chubs”). SSBHM stands for super-sized big handsome man, and signifies a BHM who is significantly obese. Men who are BHM/SSBHM can also be feedees, but many are not and are simply overweight by circumstance or genetics. Many BHM/SSBHM are interested in relationships with a female fat admirer—though some are also open to relationships with female feeders.

Isn't feederism unhealthy?

Sure, so is driving a car, living in North Philadelphia, rock climbing and taking Tylenol. But seriously, feedees who choose to put on weight assume some health risks, but there are ways to gain weight while maintaining relative health and fitness. For some feedees, the idea of becoming unhealthy or even immobile is part of the fantasy. For most, staying healthy while growing bigger is a priority.

OK, so is this a sexual, romantic or platonic thing?

It's different for different people. Most feeders and feedees find physical and sexual gratification from it. Many also find a romantic connection—either making feeding a part of a relationship or in some way maintaining the fantasy with their partners. Some just want a friend to gain with or help grow.

What's the difference between a feedee and a BBW/BHM?

There are three main differences between feedees and BBW/BHM: outlook, sexual habits and physicality. Outlook: Most BBW/BHM are "fat by accident" (meaning some combination of genetics and circumstance) and typically do not find their own size to be a turn on—though they enjoy that others like them. For many BBW/BHM, their size is something they must live with and learn to love, as opposed to something they worked for. Feedees are, in every way, the opposite of that. For them, bigness is positive, affirming and sexy. Sexual habits: Feederism is a kink, and as such, it features prominently in the fantasies and sexual play of feedees. For many BBW/BHM, being fat isn’t the focal point of their sexual desires—although they are able to embrace their size, it isn’t a turn-on in the way it is for feedees. Physicality: By definition, BBW/BHM are large people. Feedees don't have to be large, because feederism is as much about the mentality as it is about the physical results. Some feedees will only gain a few pounds to be satisfied, some will pack on several hundred and some will never grow. All are valid options.

What's the difference between feeders and fat admirers?

Though both feeders and fat admirers have a "fat is good" outlook, they differ in the sexual habits column: Fat admirers typically have "normative" sexual desires and just happen to find larger partners desirable, while feeders find sexual gratification in helping someone grow bigger or worshipping them for their size. In terms of physicality, both feeders and fat admirers come in all shapes and sizes, and some larger feedees identify as feeders as well.

Can't I just hide this part of me?

Sure, if you wanna go crazy and put your head in an oven by age 40 Sylvia-Plath style. Try to think of feederism as a sexuality. Being someone into feeding is like being someone who is gay. Can someone who is gay hide it? Sure. Will that come back to bite them in the ass? You betcha. Same goes for feederism.

But if I really like this, it seems like my options are so limited.

That part is true. There aren't loads of feeders and feedees in this world. But thanks to the internet—and sites like Feabie—those men and women are accessible. And there’s lots of fat admirers and BBW/BHM who are open to exploring feederism fantasies too. If you live in a small town, you may want to start setting aside a small travel budget. The best way to get to know this community and make friends is to meet people in real life. That may require a little travel.

How can I learn more?

Honestly, the best way to learn more is to dive in and start chatting with people!

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